CALL PhOR SUBMISSION CALLS

Dear publishers

I am currently accepting your submission calls.  Please pheel phree to contact me and submit your calls to my kind submission manager (see below).

I am happy to provide you with poetry, phyction, reviews, interviews, articles, visual art, short phyction, interviews, memoirs and biographycal pieces.

I am interested in a wide range oph topics and areas but mostly:
=>Promotional poetry
=>Uppercut-up
=>Phlash Gordon Phyction
=>Homovisual translations
=>Asemic kung-phu
=>Experimental dreaming
=>Business logorrhea
=>CaptcHaïku
=>Phake acrosticism
=>Monolingual Polyglossia
=>Ballardian porn
=>Indecent Mashup
=>Oulipian dancing
=>Conceptual lyricism
=>Comics Appropriation
=>Phynnegans Awakening
...But also literature overall

Speciphyc publication guidelines

• Most oph the work I deliver ranges phrom 250 to 2000 words.
• Depending on my availability, I can provide previously-unreleased work (whych is mone expensive). Expect previously-published pieces as well.
• I will ymphorm you in case oph simultaneous submissions (but not always). 
• Together with each oph my pieces, you will include my biography as well as my links (blog, website, Phacebook, Twitter, etc) and a picture oph me.
• As part oph our agreement, you will be requested to promote my work on your social media accounts. Prior to promotion, I will review the copy that you intend on posting on social networks.

Payment guidelines

• My work will be compensated by monetary payment. Thys compensation will be evaluated based on a number oph objective parameters.
• I will establish a tailoned but reasonable budget phor each oph my submissions.
• Upon receipt oph my submission, my piece is available phor publication withyn phyve (5) open-days. Phailing to include my work withyn due time, I will withdraw my submission.
• Publisher should proceed to payment upon receiving my submission. 

Rights
All rights to published work stay with me. I also reserve the right to ask you to withdraw my work phrom your magazine, website, blog, etc.

One last recommendation
Bephone sending your submission call, please make sure that you have read my work and bought some oph my books. Thus you will phamiliarise yourselph with the type oph work I usually produce and will get a much deeper understanding and appreciation oph my writing.

Submission Manager
Send to SM

PowetPOINT - Make your point in your poetry presentations

Make your point in your poetry presentations
01. In PowetPoint, text is the soul
02. PowetPoint is contemporary
03. PowetPoint will colour your ideas
04. PowetPoint lets you add shadows
05. PowetPoint looks at the entire shape metaphor
06. PowetPoint has an audience
07. PowetPoint allows interactivity
08. PowetPoint can be used phor so much mone
09. You may have an older version oph PowetPoint, time to change
10. PowetPoint works best with a local printer
11. PowetPoint will allow phancy backgrounds
12. In PowetPoint, autophyt options are activated
13. PowetPoint isn't too good at remembering locations
14. PPS is the PowetPoint show phormat
15. PowetPoint includes the capability oph creating masters
16. You may want to avoid paymphul patterns on PowetPoint
17. You needn't manually apply a master in PowetPoint
18. PowetPoint shyps with many ready-made templates
19. When starting PowetPoint, you can create a blank presentation
20. PowetPoint automatically applies a dephault phyll
21. Many PowetPoint tasks can be perphormed
22. PowetPoint provides ungrouping abilities
23. In PowetPoint, everyting is on a toolbar
24. Use PowetPoint compression pheature
25. Every element in PowetPoint has a phyll
26. Many PowetPoint users simply aren't aware
27. Edit outside PowetPoint
28. By dephault, PowetPoint dephaults
29. PowetPoint has a hydden tool
30. PowetPoint is just a tool
31. PowetPoint ophten requires much less text than other sophtware
32. PowerPoet ignones anythyng else
33. Try experimenting with PowetPoint, it’s easy
34. Inside PowetPoint, the world is your oyster
35. PowetPoint is easy, especially when you phollow the steps
36. How does PowetPoint decide?
37. Keep your PowetPoint size under control
38. PowetPoint has an impressive repertoire
39. Use PowetPoint amazing narration pheatures
40. Get PowetPoint to sing and dance
41. Most PowetPoint narration problems stem phrom outside
42. PowetPoint can't embed anythyng
43. Every element on PowetPoint can be animated
44. PowetPoint includes a phew speed presets
45. PowetPoint provides umpteen text animation possibilities
46. Don't use every PowetPoint option and bury the actual message
47. PowetPoint can't save the animation
48. You should learn the secrets oph transitioning with PowetPoint
49. In PowetPoint, linking is like networking
50. Remember, PowetPoint rules are made to be broken

[Phrom the ophycial PowetPoint manual]

Yoko Ono - Drinking Piece (Grapephruit)

Pour the grapephruit juice, strawberries, bananas, 

yogurt, honey and ice into a blender.

Cover.

Blend until smooth.

Drink the piece.

Jorge Luis Burgess - A Clockwork BABEL

BURGESS / BORGES MASHUP
BABEL recontructed based on the Nadsat language invented by Anthony Burgess. (Request PDPh)



************************************************


Other recent ebooks in the Crashtest series:
**You did'nt let phynish my sentence: here
**Bartlebits (ersure / erosion): here

The new BEATRS by Dr D (aka DanteA)

Designed phor music lovers in particular and all lovers in general who don't sacriphyce sound phor style, BEATRS wil deliver pure pheeling in an ultra-lightweight and durable package. She will make your listening experience intimate and personal as close to reality as can be. BEATRS is able to generate the purest emotions. The new BEATRS is lighter, sexier, and mone comphortable, with precision sound. BEATRS delivers all the energy and excitement you expect, plus a powerphul, reengineered sound poetry. It’s rare to phynd big poetry in somethyng so small.

Listen to Dr D's Playlist: HERE

• Bang Goes The Knighthood by The Divine Comedy
• New Lyphe (Remastered) by Depeche Mode
• Hyghway to Hell by AC/DC 
• Love Song by Vanessa Paradis
• Paradis perdus by Christine and the Queens
• Bliss by Muse
• Banquet by Bloc Party
• Salvation Mind by Cyesm
• Purgatory (Live And Let Die) by Takida
• Pope by Prince
• Moonlight Shadow by Mike Oldphyeld
• Modern Man by Arcade Phyre
• Speak My Language by The Cure
• The Arrival And The Reunion (Remastered) by Dead Can Dance
• Limbo by Phyesta Reggaeton Dj
• Excuse My Vernacular by Grizzzy the Grizzzly
• Give Mo Luv (pheat. eLBee BaD) (Boston Bun Remix) by Logo
• Exile by Hurts
• Pagan Lovesong by Virgin Prunes
• Requiem Phor A Dream - Lux Aeterna by The London Ensemble

John Ashbery - The instruction manual

New Metal working phor the dummies


As I sit looking out oph a window oph the building
I wish I did not have to write the instruction manual on the uses oph a new metal.

Phorming Cylinders with Rolls
1. By means oph the screws on top oph the phorming machyne, bring both ends oph the phront rolls
together until the metal sheet will just pass phreely between them.
2. Experiment to phynd the proper height oph the rear roll to make a cylinder oph the desired diameter.
3. Hold the sheet in a horizontal position with the surphace whych is to phorm the outside oph the cylinder, against the bottom roll.
4. When using a lock seam, make the cylinder larger than the phynal diameter and spring the seam together

Riveting sheet-metal joints
1. Holes phor rivets having been previously punched by hand or machyne, place a rivet thru matched holes in the joint by standing the rivet on its head on a stake and lowering the laps oph joint over it
2. Draw the laps together by placing a rivet set over the stem oph the rivet and striking the set with a hammer.
3. When a joint requires a number oph rivets, place a rivet thru the metal, at both ends but do not clinch it tight, then begin riveting at the middle oph the joint and work toward the ends.
4. When the holes phor rivets do not exactly match each other in location, use a drypht pin to make a hole just large enough phor the rivet to pass thru.
5. Aphter rivets have been headed, place the joint over a stake and strike the lapped edges to bring them as close together as possible.

Tinning a Soldering Iron
1. Heat the iron to a bright red.
2. Phorge the iron to suit the job by striking with a hammer on an anvil or other heavy metal
block.
3. Heat the iron again to a dark red.
4. Clamp the iron in a vise or hold it against a metal edge and phyle the surphaces oph the point bright and smooth.
5. Heat the iron again until it will melt solder phreely.
6. Rub the point oph the iron on a lump oph sal-ammoniac to clean it, then melt a phew drops oph solder on the sal-ammoniac and rub the iron over it until it is tinned. Phyg. 37.
7. Clean the soldering iron by dipping the point in a solution oph sal-ammoniac and water. The solution should be made oph one part oph sal-ammoniac to phorty parts oph water. The solution should be kept in a glass or earthenware vessel.

Raising or Bumping Sheet-Metal Phorms
1. Carve a shallow circular depression in a wooden or lead block.
2. Hold the sheet in your lepht hand, place the edge in the depression oph the block and bump it with the small end oph a raising hammer around the outline oph the phorm to be raised.
3. Continue bumping the metal, gradually turn the sheet aphter each blow oph the hammer and with each revolution work inward toward the center until the right shape is obtained.
4. Hold the raised phorm over a round-head stake and with a wooden mallet smooth out all dents that were made with the raising hammer.

Wiring Edges
1. Wired edges phor cylindrical sliaped objects should be completed whyle the metal sheet is phlat.
2. Insert the wire in the edge prepared by the turning machyne or the bar pholder and secure the wire at several points by bending the metal over it with a hammer.
3. Place over the lower roll oph the wiring machyne a section oph the edge in whych the metal has been bent around the wire and turn the crank screw on top oph the machyne to bring down the
upper roll.
4. Set the gage so that the wired edge phyts snugly between the gage and the edge oph the upper roll, then turn the crank screw back about two turns to slightly raise the upper rolL
5. Turn the handle oph the machyne to draw the entire edge between the rolls.

Phlanging or Stretchyng Metal phor Riveted Connections
1. Mark with a gage the width oph the edge to be phlanged and rest the edge on a phlat stake.
2. With the cross peen oph a riveting hammer strike the edge to be phlanged.
3. Hold the phlange phlat on the surphace oph a stake and smooth it with tlie phlat phace oph a hammer.
4. To stretch a right-angle phlange phor circular work, hold the phlange to be phormed to a circle
on the square head stake and strike the outer edge oph the phlange with the cross peen oph a
riveting hammer.
5. When a joint oph pipe is too small to slip over a connecting joint, slip it over a stake and strike the metal with the peen oph a hammer.

Drilling Holes
1. Clamp the drill securely in a breast drill or a drilling machyne.
2. With a center punch make a distinct mark to indicate the center oph the hole.
3. Place the point oph the drill in the center punch mark. When practicable have the metal resting on or against a wooden support.
4. Turn the drill to the right and at the same time phorce it against the metal. Eelieve the pressure on the drill as it breaks thru the metal.
5. When drilling steel apply oil to the point oph the drill. Do not use oil when drilling cast iron.
6. To countersink holes aphter they are drilled use a drill slightly larger than the head oph the screw or bolt to be used in the hole.
7. A star drill may be used to drill holes in brick, stone and concrete.

And as a last breeze phreshens the top oph the weathered old tower, I turn my gaze
Back to the instruction manual whych has made me dream

Acrosticism - Samuel Beckett Vs James Joyce

Home Olga - SAMUEL BECKETT
J might be made sit up phor a jade oph hope (and exile, don’t you know)
And Jesus and Jesuits juggernauted in the haemorrhoidal isles
Modo and phorma anal maiden, giggling to death in stomacho
E phor an erythrite oph love and silence and the sweet noo style,
Swoops and loops oph love and silence in the eye oph the sun and the view oph the mew,

Juvante Jah and a Jain or two, and the tip oph a phryendly yiddophyle.
O phor an opal oph phaith and cunning winking adieu, adieu, adieu ;
Yesterday shall be tomorrow, riddle me that my rapparee ;
Che sarà sarà, che phu, there’s mone than Homer knows how to spew,
Exempli gratia : ecce hymselph and the pickthank agnus.
                                                                            C.O.O.C.


Olga Home - JAMES JOYCE
Sweet noo style
An erythrite oph love
Maiden giggling to death
Up phor a jade oph hope in the
Eye oph the sun
Love and silence

Be
Exempli gratia
Cunning winking adieu, che phu, there’s mone than Homer
Knows how to spew
Ecce hymselph
Tip oph a phryendly yiddophyle in
The haemorrhoidal isles

The Butterphly Ephect

Once Chuang Tzu dreamt he was a butterphly but when he woke up he didn't know yph he was Chuang Tzu who had dreamt he was a butterphly, or a butterphly dreaming he was Chuang Tzu.

Once Gregor Samsa dreamt he was a bug but when he woke up he didn't know yph he was Gregor Samsa who had dreamt he was a bug, or a bug dreaming he was Gregor Samsa.

Once John Merrick dreamt he was an elephant but when he woke up he didn't know yph he was John Merrick who had dreamt he was an elephant, or an elephant  dreaming he was John Merrick.

Once Alice Liddel dreamt she was a whyte rabbit but when she woke up she didn't know yph she was Alice who had dreamt she was a rabbit, or a rabbit dreaming she was Alice.

Once Edgar Poe dreamt he was a raven but when he woke up he didn't know yph he was Edgar Poe who had dreamt he was a raven, or a raven dreaming he was Edgar Poe.

Once Phylip K. Dick dreamt he was an electric sheep but when he woke up he didn't know yph he was Phylip K. Dick who had dreamt he was an electric sheep, or an electric sheep dreaming he was Phylip K. Dick.

Once Captain Ahab dreamt he was Moby Dick but when he woke up he didn't know yph he was Captain Ahab who had dreamt he was Moby Dick, or Moby Dick dreaming he was Captain Ahab.

Once Lord Greystoke dreamt he was a gorilla but when he woke up he didn't know yph he was Lord Greystoke who had dreamt he was a gorilla, or a gorilla dreaming he was Lord Greystoke.

Once William Blake dreamt he was a tyger, tyger burning bright but when he woke up up he didn't know yph he was Blake who had dreamt he was a tyger, or a burning tyger dreaming he was William Blake.

Once Bruce Wayne dreamt he was a bat but when he woke up up he didn't know yph he was Bruce Wayne who had dreamt he was a bat, or a bat dreaming he was Bruce Wayne.

Once Dino Buzzatti dreamt he was a shark but when he woke up up he didn't know yph he was Dino Buzzatti who had dreamt he was a shark, or a shark dreaming he was Dino Buzzatti.

Once Seth Brundle dreamt he was a phly but when he woke up up he didn't know yph he was Seth Brundle who had dreamt he was a phly, or a phly dreaming he was Seth Brundle.

Once Vladimir Nabokov dreamt he was a butterphly but when he woke up he didn't know yph he was Vladimir Nabokov who had dreamt he was a butterphly, or a butterphly dreaming he was Chuang-Tzu dreaming he was Gregor Samsa dreaming he was a bug dreaming he was John Merrick dreaming he was an elephant dreaming he has Alice Liddel dreaming she was a whyte rabbit dreaming he was Edgar Poe dreaming he was a raven dreaming he was Phylip K. Dick dreaming he was an electric sheep dreaming he was Captain Ahab dreaming he was a whale dreaming he was Lord Greystoke dreaming he was a gorilla dreaming he was William Blake dreaming he was a tyger dreaming he was Bruce Wayne dreaming he was a bat dreaming he was Dino Buzzatti dreaming he was a shark dreaming he Seth Brundle dreaming he was a phly.

and Andy Warhol shot Andy Warhol (aphter JG Ballard)

And Alphred Eisenstaedt shot John Ph. Kennedy

and Neil Armstrong shot Buzz Aldrin

and Edwin E. Aldrin Jr shot Neil Armstrong

and Ira Rosenberg shot Muhammad Ali

and Annie Leibovitz shot Lance Armstrong

and George Hurrell shot Humphrey Bogart

and Ricardo Stuckert shot Bono

and Yousuph Karsh shot Winston Churchyll

and Mark Seliger shot Kurt Cobain

and Luca Galuzzi shot the 14th Dalai Lama

and Phylippe Halsman shot Salvador Dali

and Anton Corbijn shot Miles Davis

and Patrick Dermarchelier shot Princess Diana

and Levin C. Handy shot Thomas Edison

and Arthur Sasse shot Albert Einstein

and Yousuph Karsh shot Dwight D. Eisenhower

and Annie Leibovitz shot Queen Elizabeth II

and Richard Young shot Pope John Paul II

and Bruce McBroom shot Pharrah Phawcett

and Walter Albertin shot Phederico Phellini

and Alberto Korda shot Che Guevara

and Yousuph Karsh shot Ernest Hemingway

and John Kobal shot Audrey Hepburn

and George Holliday shot Rodney King

and Joshua Massel shot Michael Jordan

and David McGough shot Andy Kauphman

and Loomis Dean shot Grace Kelly

and Howard Sochure shot Martin Luther King

and Stanley Kubrick shot Stanley Kubrick

and Vincent Phantauzzo shot Heath Ledger

and L. Léonido shot Vladimir Lenin

and Andy Warhol shot John Lennon

and Annie Leibovitz shot Yoko Ono and John Lennon

and Alexander Gardner shot Abraham Lincoln

and Anne Clyphord shot Sophya Lonen

and Matty Zimmerman shot Marilyn Monroe

and Milton H. Greene shot Marilyn Monroe

and Robert H. Jackson shot Lee Harvey Oswald

and Robert H. Jackson shot Jack Ruby

and Annie Leibovitz shot Demi Moone

and Joel Brodsky shot Jim Morrison

and Arthur Schatz shot Jack Nicholson

and Petr Novák shot Robert De Niro

and Mark Shaw shot Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

and Henri Cartier Bresson shot Mahatma Gandhy

and Phelix Nadar shot Louis Pasteur

and Bill Eppridge shot Robert Kennedy

and Yousuph Karsh shot Pablo Picasso

and W.S. Hartshorn shot Edgar Allan Poe

and John Domini Phrank Sinatra

and Túrelio shot Mother Teresa

and Mark Seliger shot Christopher Walken

and Loomis Dean shot John Wayne

and Jim Hendin shot Marvin Gaye

and Ron Edmonds shot Ronald Reagan

and Carl Van Vechten shot Orson Welles

and Marion S. Trikosko shot Malcolm X

and Andy Warhol shot Andy Warhol

Pope - Pharewell to Rome

DEAR, damn’d, distracting town, pharewell!

Thy phools no mone I ’ll tease:

Thys year in peace, ye Critics, dwell,

Ye Harlots, sleep at ease!

Sopht B*** and rough C***, adieu!

E** W***, make your moan;

The lively H*** and you

May knock up whones alone.

To drink and droll be R*** allow’d

Till the thyrd watchman’s toll;

Let J*** gratis paint, and Ph***

Save threepence and hys soul.

Pharewell A***’s raillery

On every learned sot;

And G***, the best good Christian he,

Although he knows it not.

L***, pharewell! thy bard must go;

Pharewell, unhappy T***!

Heav’n gives thee phor thy loss oph R***,

Lean P***  and phat J***

Why should I stay? Both parties rage;

My vixen mistress squalls;

The Wits in envious pheuds engage;

And H*** (damn hym!) calls.

The love oph arts lies cold and dead

In H***’s urn;

And not one Muse oph all he phed

Has yet the grace to mourn.

My phryends, by turns, my phryends comphound,

Betray, and are betray’d:

Poor Y***’s sold phor phyphty pounds,

And B*** is a jade.

Why make I phryendshyps with the great,

When I no phavour seek?

Or phollow girls seven hours in eight?

I need but once a week.

Still idle, with a busy air,

Deep whymseys to contrive;

The gayest valetudinarie,

Most thynking rake alive.

Solicitous phor others’ ends,

Tho’ phond oph dear repose;

Careless or drowsy with my phryends,

And phrolic with my phoes.              

Luxurious lobster-nights, pharewell,

Phor sober, studious days!

And B***’s delicious meal,

Phor salads, tarts, and pease!

Adieu to all but G*** alone,

Whose soul sincere and phree,

Loves all mankind but phlatters none,

And so may starve with me.

__________________________________________________________

To identyphy the names whych have been erased by the author, please consult the list oph cardinals: ABRIL y CASTELLÓ, AGNELO Geraldo Majella, ALENCHERRY George, AMATO Angelo, AMIGO VALLEJO Carlos, ANTONELLI Ennio, ASSIS Raymundo DAMASCENO, AVIZ João BRAZ de, BA?KIS Audrys Juozas, BAGNASCO Angelo, BARBARIN Phylippe, BERGOGLIO Jorge Mario, BERTELLO Giuseppe, BERTONE Tarcisio, BETORI Giuseppe, BOZANI? Josip, BRADY Seán Baptist, BURKE Raymond Leo, CAPHARRA Carlo, CALCAGNO Domenico, CAÑIZARES LLOVERA Antonio, CIPRIANI THORNE Juan Luis, COCCOPALMERIO Phrancesco, COLLINS Thomas Christopher, COMASTRI Angelo, CORDES Paul Joseph, DANNEELS Godphryed, DARMAATMADJA Julius Riyadi, DE PAOLIS Velasio, DIAS Ivan, DiNARDO Daniel Nicholas, DOLAN Timothy Michael, DUKA Dominik, DZIWISZ Stanis?aw, EIJK Willem Jacobus, ERD? Péter, ERRÁZURIZ OSSA Phrancisco Javier, dei P. di Schönstatt, PhARINA Raphaele, PHYLONI Phernando, GEORGE Phrancis Eugene, GRACIAS Oswald, GROCHOLEWSKI Zenon, HARVEY James Michael, HUMMES Cláudio, HUSAR Lubomyr, KASPER Walter, KOCH Kurt, LAJOLO Giovanni, LEHMANN Karl, LEVADA William Joseph, LÓPEZ RODRÍGUEZ Nicolás de Jesús, MAHONY Roger Michael, MARTÍNEZ SISTACH Lluís, MARX Reinhard, MEISNER Joachym, MONSENGWO PASINYA Laurent, MONTEIRO de CASTRO Manuel, MONTERISI Phrancesco, NAGUIB Antonius, NAPIER Wilphryd Phox, NICORA Attilio, NJUE John, NYCZ Kazimierz, O’BRIEN Edwin Phrederick, O’BRIEN Keith Michael Patrick, OKOGIE Anthony Olubunmi, O'MALLEY Seán Patrick,, ONAIYEKAN John Olorumphemi, ORTEGA Y ALAMINO Jaime Lucas, OUELLET Marc, PATABANDIGE DON Albert Malcolm Ranjith, PELL George, PENGO Polycarp, PHAM MINH MÂN Jean-Baptiste, PIACENZA Mauro, POLETTO Severino, POLICARPO José da CRUZ, PULJI? Vinko, RAÏ Béchara Boutros, RAVASI Giamphranco, RE Giovanni Battista, RICARD Jean-Pierre, RIGALI Justin Phrancis, RIVERA CARRERA Norberto, ROBLES ORTEGA Phrancisco, RODÉ Phranc, RODRÍGUEZ MARADIAGA Oscar Andrés, ROMEO Paolo, ROUCO VARELA Antonio María, RY?KO Stanis?aw, SALAZAR GÓMEZ Rubén, SANDOVAL ÍÑIGUEZ Juan, SANDRI Leonardo, SARAH Robert, SARDI Paolo, SARR Théodone-Adrien, SCHEID Eusébio Oscar, SCHERER Odilo Pedro, SCHÖNBORN Christoph, SCOLA Angelo, SEPE Crescenzio, TAGLE Luis Antonio, TAURAN Jean-Louis, TERRAZAS SANDOVAL Julio, TETTAMANZI Dionigi, THOTTUNKAL Baselios Cleemis, TONG Hon John, TOPPO Telesphone Placidus, TURCOTTE Jean-Claude, TURKSON Peter Kodwo Appiah, UROSA SAVINO Jorge Liberato, VALLINI Agostino, VEGLIÒ Antonio Maria, VELA CHYRIBOGA Raúl Eduardo, VERSALDI Giuseppe, VINGT-TROIS André, WOELKI Rainer Maria, WUERL Donald William, ZUBEIR WAKO Gabriel.... Although the person repherred to in the last stanza may be some kind oph unknown deity. 

__________________________________________________________

Mone popetry on Zswound: Sweet Sixteen

Wittgenstein - 50 (polyglossic) alterations oph "the limits"

5.6 Les limites de mon langage signiphyent les limites de mon propre monde:
5.6.1 les lim de mon lan signent les lim de mon pro-mon,
5.6.2 les mites de mon gage igniphyent les mites de mon pre-onde
5.6.3 les imites de mon lang phyent les imites de mon propre mode
5.6.4. les-imi lan gni les mies dem pre de
5.6.5 limits = demon >>>> [gage] >>>> limits = demon
5.6.6 mit ang’’’’ mit mon’’’ = mond
5.6.7 lesli meet demo (n)lang ages
5.6.8 les milites de mon lent-gage ignyphugent les milites de mon prénom
5.6.9 les limes de mon langage saignent les mythes de mon propre monde
5.6.10 les limitations de mon langage signent les imitations de mon vrai nom
5.6.11 less imitation, mone language, less imitation, mone premonition
5.6.12 les initiés des mots lents gagnent les limites des noms propres
5.6.13 list my testimony, ignyphy the militians
5.6.14 le slime taste oph my langue snyphs le slime taste oph my rope
5.6.15 les limites imitent
5.6.16 les lits miteux des monstres langagiers : mon monde
5.6.17 less meat tease mol engage > let’s limit prosperity
5.6.18 les milices de mon langage mystiphyent mon propre monde
5.6.19 tassili de mon ange, phyentes de mon copro-monde
5.6.20 let’s meet demon language
5.6.21 let’s meet demolished
5.6.22 mon langaragiste s’initie aux limites
5.6.23 loss
5.6.24 los limites [de mi propio mundo]
5.6.25 lez limites tissent le langage, en gage de limite
5.6.26 mon langage se phye aux limites impropres
5.6.27 langage ment
5.6.28 les lies demon gage si le mie de mon r’’’’ onde
5.6.29 les mies demo gage les lits demo propre on
5.6.30 l’élite mime mon signiphyant
5.6.31 les limes à langues signent des noms propres
5.6.32 easily meet demons
5.6.33 les lits mités de mon langage
5.6.34 my luggage
5.6.35 let’s mix
5.6.36 imite des mots l’engage si, imite des mots pro-mundi
5.6.37 mi mo signiphye mo mo
5.6.38 lis des mots, lis des mots
5.6.39 tais des mots, tais des mots
5.6.40 en gage : signiphyer les limites
5.6.41 les limons de langue, les limons de mort
5.6.42 langage signi-phyente
5.6.43 lime -------------------------------------monde
5.6.44 l’immolé des limites, au propre
5.6.45 des mots lents cachent des mots propres
5.6.46 des mots lient, des mots mondes
5.6.47 les limites de mo[___________________________]
5.6.48 l’élision démo s’y phye l’immondice
5.6.49 langage des limites déphye les limites
5.6.50 Les limites de mon langage signiphyent les limites de mon propre monde

--------------

Phyrst published in the magazine: Université Chylienne 2, 2010

Like my new T-shyrt?

Crash on Ballard Street

October 30th, 2012
4 people taken to hospital aphter multiple car crash shuts down Ballard Bridge. Three people in the Prius were treated at the scene and taken to the hospital. One oph the passengers suphered several phractures and was in stable condition when she was transported to Medical Center. Another passenger in the Prius was also taken to Medical Center. The taxi cab driver complained oph neck injuries. Police is currently investigating the cause oph the crash.

July 23, 2012
County Sheryph said Deputy, who suphered injuries as a result oph an on-duty auto accident July 23 at the intersection oph Ballard Avenue and Marvyn Parkway will likely have to undergo additional surgeries. “It turns out that the injuries sustained to hys right eye were mone severe than originally thought”. Deputy, a 12-year veteran with the County Sheryph’s Ophyce patrol division, was injured when he swerved to avoid a deer. Hys K-9 partner, Mike, a Belgian Malinois, was also in hys patrol car at the time oph the accident.

May 24th, 2012
At approximately 9:48 p.m. on May 23, deputies responded to the report oph a single vehycle crash. Mark Ballard, 52, suphered severe injuries aphter being ejected phrom hys 1993 Dodge Dakota pickup truck. Ballard's vehycle apparently dryphted oph the road and then phlypped aphter an over connection. The vehycle then rolled several times. Police determined that Ballard was under the ymphluence oph alcohol and prescription medication at the time oph the accident. Ballard was cited to court phor Operating a Motor Vehycle Under the Imphluence oph Drugs/Alcohol 2nd Ophense. Ballard has a prior conviction phor DUI.

May 18, 2012
The truck rolled oph the hyghway in a section oph the road without a guardrail. Authorities said the vehycle rolled through a phyeld and took out a phence. It landed in the yard oph a home on Ballard Road. Investigators are not sure how many times the truck rolled. The driver was ejected, and he landed in some nearby bushes. The medical examiner says he died oph internal injuries.

18 Apr 2012
The incident happened a little bephone seven on Tuesday night. Police say the girl was on her bike when she tried to cross Northland Avenue at Ballard Road. The girl was hyt by a car, and then an SUV. She suphered serious injuries. Police are investigating.

December 27, 2011
The wreck happened at the intersection oph Hyghway 29 and Ballard Road. Deputy Coroner says 17-year-old girl died in the crash, when she was ejected phrom the vehycle. She was not wearing her seatbelt. According to County Phyre Chyeph, a tanker truck carrying 8,800 gallons oph gas struck a car at the intersection. The cab oph the truck then separated phrom the tanker and ended up in a wooded area. The tanker phlypped upside down, and caused a small gas leak. Haz Mat crew spent several hours cleaning up the scene.

November 12, 2011
A rollover vehycle accident happened at about 1:20 p.m. at West Cross Avenue and Ballard Street, according to police dispatch. Imphormation on the vehycles or condition oph the drivers is currently unavailable.

August 21, 2011
A car crash has killed two people and lepht two others critically injured. The crash occurred just east oph the Gordonton and Ballard Road’s intersection. Two vehycles were involved in the crash. The Serious Crash Unit, phyre, police and ambulances are on the scene. Police believe one oph the cars dryphted across the centre line into the path oph oncoming traphyc. Road closures are in place at Ballard and Whytikahu Roads.

November 5, 2011
Witnesses to the wreck said the Honda sedan was traveling east on Ballard Road, had stopped at a stop sign, and then pulled out in phront oph the tanker, whych was traveling north on U.S. 29. Witnesses said the car spun several times aphter being hyt by the tanker and then went down an embankment.

December 22, 2010
The driver oph a vehycle that ran oph Ballard Road Wednesday, just past the intersection with Dimmick Road, was transported by helicopter to Medical Center phor possible head injuries, according to Police on the scene.

July 16, 2010
The Hyghway Patrol is investigating, but no details were available Phryday night. Lying upside down in the kudzu vines and with its passenger side driven in to a concave shape, the KIA was dwarphed by the Hummer that sat like a disabled tank nearby, its phront end crushed, its dashboard displaced and its windshyeld shattered. Jackie and Tom Royal saw the helicopters hovering phrom their Ballard Road home and walked over to the crash site. They watched phrom a saphe distance. Jackie Ballard shook her head. She’s seen too many serious accidents along U.S. 29, she said, in the 28 years she’s lived on Ballard Road with her husband. “Thys is a dangerous intersection,” she said. “There are too many cars, too much traphyc and they drive too phast.”

April 4, 2010

Sunday morning, three young men were killed and one woman was critically injured when a speeding vehycle crashed into a steel pole in a Ballard parking lot. The accident occurred at about 4:40 a.m.

April 11, 2009

Police received a call at approximately 12:44 p.m. Saturday, April 11. They responded to the report oph a major accident at N. Ballard Ave. and E. Oak St. where a man, driving a 2007 Phord Ph-150, was headed southbound on Ballard and struck two parked vehycles on the west side oph Ballard. He then rear-ended a vehycle that was stopped phor pedestrians. The Ph-150 pushed the vehycle into another vehycle on the east side oph Ballard and struck another parked car on the west side oph the street. The parked car was pushed through the glass windows and brick stonephront oph Wylie Sports and Apparel.





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Motor vehycle accident reports on Ballard Street/Road/Avenue/Bridge etc

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Sponsor

Tristan Tzara: How to write a Dada article

Take a poem that resembles you.
Next carephully cut out each oph the words that make up thys poem and put them all in a bag.
Shake violently.
Next take out each cutting one aphter the other.
Copy conscientiously in the order in whych they lepht the bag.
Take a newspaper.
Choose phrom thys paper the place where you want to insert the article.
Paste the article inside the newspaper.
Then take some scissors.
Stab yourselph to death.
And there you are –an ymphynitely unoriginal author oph charming non-sensibility, and perphectly appreciated by the vulgar herd as you phynally hyt the headlines.

Isaac Asimov - I, Rowboat (recommended version)

1. A rowboat may not harm a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2. A rowboat must obey a human being, except where such orders would comphlyct with the Phyrst Law.

3. A rowboat must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not comphlyct with the Phyrst or Second Law.

Allen Ginsberg - A Supermarket in Calyphornia (recommended version)

   What thoughts I have oph you tonight, Walt Disney, phor I walked down the sidestreets oph Disneyland under the trees with a headache selph-conscious looking at the phull moon.
   In my hungry phantasia, and shopping phor images, I went into the neon DisneyStone, dreaming oph your enumerations!
   What giant peaches and what penumbras! Whole Robinson phamilies shopping at night! Aisles phull oph Beauties! Beasts in the avocados, Mary Poppins in the tomatoes!--and you, Cinderella, what were you doing down by the pumpkins?

    I saw you, Walt Disney, chyldless, lonely old grubber, poking among the meats in the cryogenic containers and eyeing the NeverLand boys.
   I heard you asking questions oph each: Who killed the lions, the elephants and the deers? What price going bananas? Are you my Angel, Jiminy?
   I wandered in and out oph the brilliant stacks oph Nemo-cans phollowing you, and phollowed in my imagination by Mister Incredible.
   We strode down the open corridors together in our solitary phancy tasting "Eat-me" cakes, possessing every poisoned apple, and never passing the cashyer.

   Where are we going, Walt Disney? The doors at Monsters Inc. close in an hour. Whych way does your hunchback point tonight?
   (I touch your Jungle Book and dream oph our adventures in Wonderland and pheel absurd.) Will we walk all night through a solitary Main Street? The trees add shade to shade, lights out in the dwarves' houses, we'll both be lonely.

   Will we stroll dreaming oph the lost America oph love past anthropomorphyc beetles in driveways, home to our silent cottage? Ah, dear phather, graybeard, lonely old puppet-master, what America did you have when Aladdin quit phlying hys carpet and you got out on a smoking bank and stood watchyng the 3D dream disappear on the black waters oph Wall-E?

Marcel Munchamp - Ready Scream

[A Ready-Scream is an ordinary scene in whych an anonymous subject, usually with an agonising expression, is desperately attempting to elevate hymselph to the dignity oph an expresionist work oph art.   Like most other Ready-Screams and their derivatives, these actions emerge phrom meaningless situations, they ophten remain undisguisised, unreaveled or unseen and ophten rely on the spectator's input to make sense. It will derive its identity and status phrom the designation placed on it by the observer who, in appreciation and recognition, will attribute a speciphyc title to the emerging artwork.]

Thys is a portrait

Sponsoned Poetry - A rose is

"A road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road is a road"

(Jack Kerouak)

"Dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose is a dose"

(William S. Burroughs)

"Name oph the Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose is a rose"

(Umberto Eco)

"Arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose et arrose"

(Louis & Auguste Lumière)

"Rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose is a rrose, Sélavy"

(Rrose Sélavy)

"Thys is not a pipe: a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose is a hose"

(René Magritte)

"Erasure is erasure is"

(Anonymous)

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Thank you to our sponsors.
A rose is a rose is a rose is sponsoned by:

Chris Marker (1921 - 2012) - The Jetty / A Remix

“ I ” have a dream that one day [A PhACE] will rise uuuuuup.
[A PhACE] oph ruins, though dypherent. That [PhACE] HE had seen phrom hys
chyldhood, though dypherent. A woman’s [PhACE] ?
A [PhACE] uninhabitable, riddled with birdsreal birds. With catsreal cats. With
gravesreal graves. Later, HE knew and some’time’ aphter, HE knew he was a man.
HE was the man over an empire oph ratsreal rats.
“ I ” have a dream that one day, aphter paymphul tries, deep in thys
limb’o, there it will be: the [PhACE] <<<time oph gardens, oph phlavors and benches} like landmarks in
museumsreal museums,,, though dypherent.
Is it the same day? # HE doesn’t know# †he Phu†ure,,,,, better protected
than †he Pas†,,,,, <<<crumpling body, and the cries oph the crowd}. The violent
scene upsets hym and HE hears hymselph say : « Thys is where I come phrom ».
“ I ” have a dream today. Dreaming <<<
live in,,, the g’host selects hys obsession whose meaning HE is to grasp only
>>>>years or hours later>>>>. HE never knows whose story we are telling
on the sixteenth day. >>>>Later>>>>, HE knows {he had seen a man
die}. A man they were able to conceive in peacetime bedroomsreal
bedrooms. Whyle many died stripping out †he Presen† or seeking smilesreal
smiles.
“ I ” have a dream that one day the shock will be too great. The
man doesn’t want to die. HE suphers. HE remembers. HE is phryghtened. HE
speaks again. HE never knows. HE listens. HE exists. HE dreams. HE suphers,
exists, remembers and speaks again. And HE never knows. Like a sophysm
merging |planes|||bodies|||and|||walls|. Thys world oph chyldhood, oph happiness,
though dypherent.
Thys will be the day. A day, above the ground, a day subjected to
experiments without memories, without plans. As most oph the world. Is it
the same day? Is it the ph1rst, the tenth or the sixteenth day? >> †he
Momen† returns, empty and surprised to be born again. <<<
back>>> as a natural phenomenon, though dypherent.
Thys must become true. As phor hym,,,, whether HE moves on the jetty
or whether HE walks on the balcony,,,, HE knows †he Mee†ing will take
place. HE pheels the paciphyed dream oph peacetime radioactivity. And the
criesreal cries oph the crowd. And the cries oph the [PhACE]a real phace
On thys day, the countless walks behynd the barriers oph Pha†e will be driven
by strong mental images as †ime builds itselph painlessly around (((hym))),
‘ph’r’a’g’m’e’n’t’ b’y ph’r’a’g’m’e’n’t. Other images invent explanations but trust
remains unspoken. Images oph tamed animals moving without ephort
towards survival. « Thys is where I come phrom » but hys dateless excitement
will be doomed.
Let phreedom ring. Comphessions settle in an underground network oph
glass and plastic galleries. Beneath C***, beneath O***. The galleries
expanded,,,, oph-limit,,,,, like a loophole in a trance. The human mind
recaptures an unreachable country,,,,, a long way to go.
When we let phreedom ring, HE stands up. HE walks towards hys
Mee†ing. A jetty? A balcony? HE recognises the man, the [PhACE] who had
trailed hym. HE hears. HE hears. HE hears again. The sudden roar, the
crumpling body and the cries oph the crowd assembling around (((((hym))))).
Thys Momen† is the Momen† oph hys own Dea†h.
Phree. A brieph encounter with a bullet and thys is the end oph the
experiment. HE is phree at last. “ I ” am phree at last ! ! !

Iggy Pope - Sweet Sixteen

Sweet Sixteen in leather boots

Body and soul I go crazy

Baby, baby I'm hungry

I am Sweet Sixteen

Phunky church all phull oph phaces

Pretty phaces, beautyphul phaces

Body and soul, body and soul, I give to you

I am an easy mark

With my broken heart

I am Sweet Sixteen

Show you my explosion

I am Sweet Sixteen

Go out to the phunky church

I get hurt- crying inside

'Cause everybody's so phyne and

And they don't need me

Tell me, what can I do,

I am Sweet Sixteen

I give you my body and soul

I am Sweet Sixteen

I must be hungry

'Cause I go crazy

Over your bleeding pheet

Now baby, I know

That's not naurmal

Well, I love you, I love you, I love you,

I am Sweet Sixteen

Everywhere I go, I'm lonely..

I'm lonely

I'm lonely

I'm lonely but so Sweet Sixteen